Path of Ashes
by Emina333
Summary: Ichigo Kurosaki has become what he has feared all along, A cold.Blooded.Killer. What will happen when Rukia witnesses his murderous deeds? Rated t to be safe.


"Ichigo! What happened?" Her voice softened, her deep violet eyes were concerned, hurt, broken, confused, they were looking right into mine. I didn't deserve her sympathy. I moved my eyes away quickly. I was so ashamed about what I had done that I didn't deserve to look into her eyes. Those beautiful deep violet eyes. I wasn't truly even human anymore, but then again, who is? I may have had the life of a human, a pathetic, worthless human, but I was far from sanity. Why did it end up like this? Why had my life ended in such a way that I could never be trusted again. I was supposed to be Ichigo Kurosaki, substitute soul reaper. I was supposed to be helping the soul society. I was supposed to be reborn a hero, so why an I being turned to dust?

My eyes slowly found their way back to hers. It was almost too much, looking into those eyes,. After all I had done for her, all I had done for everyone. I was the one who should be concerned, not her. Never her again. Ever since that faithful day, I was entrusted to protect others, to heal the hurt that had been done to them. Why am I now the one delivering that pain?

_Blood, blood, the warmth, the chill, the feeling of it all. I was so happy! The body in front of me was cold now, but my killing streak was far from done. Victims. I loved the word. I was the king; I was never to be pushed around again. The moonlight was dreary in the dark alleyway, but I had enough fire in my eyes to light even the darkest of rooms. My world. Black, white, and RED._

"Ichigo, can you hear me?" My daze was broken and I fought my eyes to look up at her once more. I don't know at what point we were on the ground, but she was cupping my face with one hand as if to get my attention.

"Ichigo, we need to go, the police will be here soon." It wasn't commanding, it wasn't harsh, it was just Rukia. She was just trying to help.

I was Ichigo Kurosaki, though, I didn't take help from anyone. Not Chad, not Orihime, Not even my own family, but I most certainly did not accept help from Rukia. She gave me her powers to help her- Were my tables being turned to quickly? Wasn't I the one who rescued her when she was on death's row?

_I cackled, my zanpakto was swinging back and fourth slightly in my hand, hanging from the ragged, now stained red cloth that was holding it. It was only my Fifth kill that week, and I was truly addicted. The blood of the helpless on my hands, smeared across my tattered clothes and face. My eyes I'm sure would've sent a warning sign to anyone who could have missed stance. I was face up at the moon, it's eerie light faintly creating a crevice in the darkness that shrouded me. That feeling was one I could never forget. The feeling of ripping my victim limb from limb, screams of horror escaping parted lips and the red trophy from all my hard work that stained my very being._

"Ichigo, we need to go." Rukia was trying to stand me up. She was trying to steady me as though I was a small child learning how to walk for the first time. Again she was helping me, and for the second time that day I let her. I don't know why, but when wrapped in her comforting embrace I felt secure. I felt that I could let the walls down that I had worked so hard to build up. From the time my mother died until this very moment, I wore a mask. A mask that hid my emotions, and kept my bulletproof walls standing firm.

"Rukia.." I could barley utter her name. It came as more of a whisper to the ears of any normal person, but to me it sounded like a horrifying scream. One of the screams I had previously taken joy in, A scream of a _victim. _

"What have I done?" It was more rhetorical than anything, I knew what I had done. I knew perfectly well that I was a killer. I killed innocent people. That was far worse than any hollow or arrancar.

Rukia once more looked me in the eyes and said, "Does it really matter Ichigo?" I knew it did and she did too. She said that out of comfort for me. Nothing she could say or do would make this better again. Would make me better again. Nothing could bring back the lives that I had taken. For the people? I was not. I was selfish, taken over by the hollow inside me I could no longer control. Donning a mask did not make me in control, It gave him power. It gave him a body to use. I was nothing more than a marionette on strings obeying the will of the puppet master.

" You have to remember, nothing we do defines us Ichigo." We were walking now, seeking refuge in the darkness from the roaring sirens that were quickly approaching, " What we did in the past is done. Tomorrow is a new day Ichigo, you have to take it by the reins and create your own path. You need to stop playing horse and start playing King. The only thing that can define that is instinct. It truly is. It may not seem like it now, but it will get better. This demon inside of you got what it wanted, and you can't let it take any more. The greatest teacher is life itself. You will be reborn from these ashes and back into a humble Phoenix again. Your flames go out time to time, but they will always rise from the ashes, rise from the mistakes you made, and mold a better you. It starts with you, Ichigo. Always Remember that."

I looked into those eyes. They were no longer worried, or concerned. Her eyes spoke of a new beginning. They spoke of a path filled with life, not filled with death, and they spoke the truth. The Violet that was before broken, and hurt were now humble and strong. They were the phoenix she spoke of, reborn from the ashes.

"What if I can't? What if I end up repeating past mistakes?" Rukia balked, turned towards me, and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Well then we'll be there for you, every step of the way." She smiled, and for once I didn't doubt a word she said.


End file.
